


Conference Wives (AU) Prequel Fics

by dance_the_code



Series: Conference Wives [1]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-21
Updated: 2011-02-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 07:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 6,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4951549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance_the_code/pseuds/dance_the_code
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie has a bad day…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> –Conference Wives, background fic

Title: Perfect Bad Day  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG  
Word Count: 573  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie has a bad day…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives, background fic

Charles Eppes had learned many things in college and every year some lessons repeated themselves. He hated jocks, he hated frat boys and the intelligence clique, because of his age, thought he was a threat and made his life miserable.

But, he loved college. Too bad there were other students.

Granted he sort’ve had friends. People in passing he spoke to who spoke to him, recommended dishes in the cafeteria, told him about some event or other, not that he’d attend, but it was nice someone mentioned it.

But today, well, today started with Dr. Erdstein’s class, which he loved…except before he even made it into the room some frat boy had knocked him over, papers and books and pens everywhere, he scrambled to pick everything up, but some things had been carried down the hall and class began. He walked in late, everything in disarray, and apparently his homework was out on the quad still because for the first time in his life, he didn’t have it.

The intelligence clique was spreading rumors. The jocks had decided today was the day to revert to high school. It was raining. It was raining and he forgot his jacket and his umbrella and his shoe was untied and he tripped on it. He dropped his books in the mud, he lost the pen Don gave him.

He stumbled into the dorm valiantly attempting not to cry. He smacked his funny bone on the door frame as he came in. He did not find that funny.

There was a note written on his dry erase board. He couldn’t wait to read it. More harassment.

C Eppes – Communal Fridge. E

He dropped off his books, knowing it was a bad idea to go look, but curiosity was getting the better of him. He walked down the hall and into the communal kitchen, relieved that no one was there in case it was some one’s idea of a joke to leave a dissected cat with his name on it in the fridge.

He opened the fridge carefully. Among the left-overs in various states of mold was a bakery box with a piece of notebook paper taped to it.

C. Eppes.

He didn’t recognize the handwriting, but he took the box out of the fridge. He opened it to reveal a lemon tart, decorated with blueberries to form a smiley face and an envelope tucked in next to it. He pulled out the envelope and two tea bags slid across the bottom of the box.

He sat down in the less rickety of the two chairs in the kitchen and opened the envelope.

C. Eppes,

Found your homework on the quad. Handed it in to Dr. Erdstein. He said you seemed to be having a bad day. Also found a nice pen, handed it in to him as well, if yours, let him know. People can be assholes, C. Don’t let it get you down.

Eva

Charlie wondered who Eva was, if he had met her, if they had a class together. If she knew his first name. Probably not, C. Eppes was what he put at the top of his homework papers. He carried the box back to his dorm room and smiled at the blueberries.

Whoever she was, he hoped he’d get to meet her.

She was the first person to ever write him a note containing the word asshole and not be referring to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie goes to find out if the pen is the one Don gave him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives, background fic

Title: Corner Chair  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG  
Word Count: 243  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie goes to find out if the pen is the one Don gave him…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives, background fic

He heard voices inside Dr. Erdstein’s office, but he knocked anyway.

“Come in.”

Charlie stepped in. “I came to see if the pen…I guess Eva turned in was my pen or someone else’s…”

Dr. Erdstein opened a drawer and pulled out the pen Don gave him and Charlie smiled.

“Yes, that’s mine.”

Dr. Erdstein handed it over. “Charles, I’d like you to meet someone, not always a math person, but brilliant none the less…”

There was a chuckle behind him and Charlie turned to face the chair in the corner.

“Charles Eppes, meet Eva Thomas.”

Eva was lounged in the wooden chair, foot up on a stack of discarded books, short cropped brown hair disheveled, sweater at least four sizes too big, combat boots and laughing green eyes. She stood and extended a hand.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you…thanks…”

She chuckled again. “Anytime.”

“Eva is the informal tutor of my statistics class in the criminology department, Charles is our resident genius.”

Charlie wished Dr. Erdstein hadn’t said that.

Eva grinned and shook her head. “You poor thing, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee, there’s a poetry reading at the coffee house right off campus. Dr. Erdstein, see you in class Tuesday.”

“Of course, Eva…and Eva?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Don’t corrupt him too much.”

Eva put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder and steered him out of the office.

“I’ll let Charles quantify what’s too much.” She winked at him.

Charlie smiled.


	3. Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie tells his mother about the women in his life…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives, background fic

Title: Phone Call  
Pairing/Characters: Margaret  
Rating/Category: PG  
Word Count: 240  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie tells his mother about the women in his life…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives, background fic

Margaret Eppes smiled into the phone. For once, Charlie was talking about people, not classes, not theorems and algorithms, not professors, just people. Two people. Eva and Alexis, fellow graduate students.

The conversation was a breathless string of information. She picked out that Eva had twin older brothers, both in the military. Alexis was an only child. Eva didn’t really talk to her parents and for some reason, Charlie thought Alexis shouldn’t, but Margaret didn’t press the issue.

Eva was getting degrees in computer science and criminology, Alexis in statistics. Something about a lemon tart and a bad day in which he lost the pen Don gave him, but Eva turned it in at Dr. Erdstein’s office.

Charlie was happy. Not just, “I have my numbers and the world can leave me alone now,” happy, he was the sort of happy that Margaret used to define as “Don is letting me play with him” happy.

Charlie ended the conversation with the usual love you mom, but it seemed so much happier, like he was actually smiling when he said it this time and said he would be out late, attending a concert with Eva and Alexis.

She smiled as she hung up and called Alan at the office.

They talked for over an hour and when she hung up, she realized she had forgotten to mention Charlie’s new friends.

She chuckled to herself.

She had time, she’d tell Alan later.


	4. Cold and Rainy Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie finds out Eva and Alexis are…together…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives.

Title: Cold and Rainy Night  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG- 13/R  
Word Count: 530  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie finds out Eva and Alexis are…together…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives.

Charlie had had enough. Graduate housing was a joke.

There was a fraternity next door that did not seem to understand boundaries, despite the fact that he lived here he had to explain who he was to security every day and they verified his campus ID every day because he looked too young.

He was going to grow a beard.

He was going to talk to Alexis about dying his hair gray. No, he would likely look like a garden gnome without the hat.

Doors slammed, it was raining, music from the fraternity was not only loud and obnoxious but it also did not make sense. There were frat brothers unconscious in front of the graduate house, he could see them from his window.

He scooped up his books and threw them into a bag.

He locked the door to his suite and headed across campus to where Eva and Alexis were renting. There was a key in a hollowed out piece of molding stuck under the windowsill. Eva had shown him where it was. If there was ever an emergency or he just wanted off campus, just come over.

Now was one of those times. He wanted food that wasn’t served to several thousand people, he wanted to talk to someone who knew that he was a graduate student and treated him like one and he wanted to possibly plot the imminent demise of the entire frat house…Eva could possibly do it without getting caught, she knew people.

He crossed campus quickly, he’d forgotten an umbrella and the rain had decided that it was going to increase exponentially upon his appearance outside.

There was a light on at the house, but Charlie wanted out of the rain, his hair was plastered to his head, curls flat against his forehead, he fumbled for the key, slid the molding back in place, unlocked the door and opened it. He toed off his wet shoes in the hall and took off his jacket. He shut the door behind him.

The house was strangely quiet. “Eva?” He took a few steps forward. “Alexis?”

There was a muffled curse and a thud. A loud thud. An alarm raising thud.

He hurried in the direction of the thud. “Eva? Alexis?”

He walked into the living room and found the two struggling somewhat between the couch and the coffee table.

Eva hissed at Alexis. “You keep moving like that and you will break my wrist.”

“You keep your hand there and we are going to scar Charlie for life.”

Eva looked up from Alexis, both women shirtless, Eva wearing camouflage pants, Alexis a broomstick skirt far above her knees and nothing else.

Of this Charlie was certain.

“Charlie…” Eva turned to shield Alexis, as much as her limited range of motion would allow.

“Uh, I just needed a quiet place to study…frat…party I think…all over the lawn…unconscious…”

Eva gestured at the stairs. “Yeah, yeah, your room is your room, I think you even have dry clothes up there.”

Charlie nodded and disappeared up the stairs. Eva rested her forehead on Alexis’ breast.

“Damn.”

Alexis stifled a giggle. “You going to talk to him.”

“Yeah…yeah I am.”


	5. Bumping the Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie finds out Eva and Alexis are…together…Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives.

Title: Bumping the Table  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG- 13/R  
Word Count: 559  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie finds out Eva and Alexis are…together…Part II  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives.

Charlie was not entirely certain what to make of it. He knew they were together…well, he knew now. He blushed, physically and mentally.

However, he wasn’t entirely certain what that meant.

Eva stood in the doorway of the room watching him.

“Charlie…do we need to talk about this?” Her hair stood up in strange places, her sweater on slightly askew, her lips and cheeks flushed, her eyes equal parts calculating and apprehensive.

He looked up. “Eva…yeah…we do…”

“Charlie…Alexis and I, well, we’ve been together…”

“No…not about that, I know that part, that is now fully quantified…what we need to talk about is…I don’t know…I can’t even determine the theory…”

Eva walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed. She reached out and brushed the curls from Charlie’s forehead. “Oh Charlie…numbers aren’t exactly helping right now are they.”

Charlie looked up into her eyes and attempted to smile. She knew.

She opened his arms for him. “Come here…let’s see if I can help you sort this out.”

Charlie settled into her arms, resting his head against her shoulder.

“Charlie…love is a beautiful thing, however in the great scheme of things, it’s very difficult, almost impossible to quantify. The amount of love a person possesses if essentially infinite, it is then proportioned out by how a person relates to others, some goes to family, some to friends, some to teachers, mentors, those you look up to, those you wish to emulate…you never run out. Then there is falling in love. Falling in love is a process, causal, but uncertain. Think of it like bumping into the edge of a table where there are an unknown number of things on the table, too many to count during the point of impact, but each thing moves in that second, each moving in a different direction, some bumping into each other, others not touching anything else, but something drops off the table. That’s like falling in love. You know you did something, you know something happened, but everything in the middle happened too fast to quantify it. Being in love is when you start to quantify everything on the table, the way your lover smiles, what she likes for breakfast, the time you spend together, the time you spend apart…being in love is when the table finally stops moving and the objects slow down enough to start to count them. Except, you don’t know what was on the table to begin with and both you and your love keep adding things to it at different times, not always in each other’s sight…does that help?”

Charlie processed the information a moment. He could see it, the average height of a table, the angle of potential impacts, the force, the motion, but there, in that moment, leaning his head against Eva’s shoulder he thought he felt it.

“Eva…can you love someone whose in love?”

Eva chuckled and scooted both of them over as Alexis walked into the room.

She settled onto the bed on the other side and Eva settled Charlie into the middle.

“Sure, Charlie…love knows love.”

Charlie sighed happily and absorbed the warmth of the two women next to him.

Alexis looked over Charlie’s head at Eva. “Are we good?”

Eva nodded. “I think so, Charlie?”

Charlie looked up and smiled. “Yeah.”

Alexis grinned and kissed Charlie’s cheek. “Good…who wants dinner?”


	6. dance_the_code

Dedicated To – everyone who has made me feel very comfortable in this Fandom. Thanks everyone. If I could give you smut, I would, but you'll have to make do with sap.  
Disclaimer – you recognize it, its not mine  
Words: 260

Of the two, Alexis was the girlie one. She owned dresses and shoes and jewelry, mostly bought by Eva.

Eva preferred to wear her hair short and liked men’s clothes from the army/navy surplus, European stuff stored in the basement, preferably in the green that matched nothing. Alexis actually did Eva’s makeup for her when it was necessary.

Alexis teased Eva about the fact that she couldn’t tell you what brand her jeans were.

Eva teased him that his hair was longer than hers. She threatened on more than one occasion to dye it purple.

They were fun.

Of all the people he had met, Alexis and Eva were the most accepting of the fact that he was just plain weird.

He spent Saturdays in the basement of the army/navy with Eva searching for warm clothes before winter hit.

He spent Sundays listening to Alexis read poetry while Eva made hot chocolate with three types of cocoa and a shot of baileys. Well, half a shot for him.

Time outside of class was time with them.

Eva had a car. Alexis had a streak of wanderlust that resulted in the three of them taking road trips to out of the way places to pick apples in the fall, strawberries in the summer and have their picture taken at that statue of Einstein in Washington, D.C.

It took Charlie almost two semesters to sort out they were together.

But when he did, he knew. This is what love looked like. This was the equation when all the variables were in place.


	7. 15 to 0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie is having a little difficulty. Eva lends a hand. (get your minds out of the gutter – right now.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conference Wives back story

Title: 15 to 0  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie, OFC (Eva)  
Rating/Category: G  
Word Count: 161  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie is having a little difficulty. Eva lends a hand. (get your minds out of the gutter – right now.)  
Note: Conference Wives back story  
For: Callmeang, kayra42 and anyone else on my F-list who needs a laugh

Charlie stood in front of the mirror cursing. He had diagrams, charts, equations, all taped to the mirror and a handful of bobby pins.

He tried again and once again, he used up all the bobby pins and it was on the bathroom floor.

Duck tape

Super glue

Chewing gum

Needle and thread

Stapler

None of these things were on hand and he would very likely have a much more serious problem if they were.

He cursed again, pulling out each bobby pin and strands of hair in the process.

Hearing the cursing, Eva knocked on the door. “Baby? Is everything okay?”

Charlie shook his head and held out the bobby pins and the yarmulke. “Yarmulke, 15, PhD in Applied Mathematics, zilch.”

Eva laughed and stroked his hair. “No problem, Baby, I’ll take care of it for you.”

Charlie sighed and let he pin the yarmulke to the back of his head, grumbling at his calculations for their lack of assistance.


	8. Sharp Un-dressed Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The infamous Boston trip Charlie took with Eva and Alexis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conference Wives Background Fic.

Title: Sharp Un-dressed Man  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie, Eva/Alexis  
Rating/Category: NC-17  
Word Count: 684  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: The infamous Boston trip Charlie took with Eva and Alexis  
Note: Conference Wives Background Fic.  
Anyone and anything you recognize is not mine.

 

He wasn’t entirely certain why he had to drink tequila, but Alexis had informed him that it was a 21st birthday tradition.

He wondered if Don had done this on his 21st.

He was also not entirely certain why Eva had insisted he wear a tuxedo for the entire trip down to Boston. It was uncomfortable and he swore it made him look twelve.

Alexis promised that he didn’t look twelve and poured him another shot.

That made two.

By the time they made it to the parking lot of wherever it was that Eva said they were going, Charlie had had four shots and was talking to a very nice but quiet rather androgynous person in gray.

He further defended the honor of said person rather valiantly when Eva disparagingly referred to his new friend as a lamp post.

They entered through the back and Eva made him produce ID and sign some piece of paper. Then she talked to a rather large man with a weird mustache.

Charlie was starting to think that he would be much more comfortable outside in the parking lot.

Alexis pushed him forward.

Twenty minutes later and shot number six, Charlie found himself seated in a swivel chair on a stage.

This was not his idea of fun, but Eva and Alexis said they wanted to do something special for his birthday and they were his closest friends, so, if this is what they thought they should do, then…well…that was nice.

Alexis loosened his tie and removed it.

That was definitely appreciated, he had considered it a little too tight anyway.

But, why was the music so loud.

Clean shirt, new shoes  
and I don't know where I am goin' to.  
Silk suit, black tie,  
I don't need a reason why.  
They come runnin' just as fast as they can  
'cos every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.  
Alexis unbuttoned his shirt and teased his chest hair.

And that was nice, but there were a lot of people around.

Eva removed his jacket and threw it into the crowd.

Well, that was good, he really didn’t like the jacket and it was rather hot in here.

Alexis removed his shoes on her knees and wait…when did she remove the top half of her dress?

Eva ran her hands down his chest from behind and then leaned over to nibble his ear.

There were still a lot of people around and now for some reason they were putting money on the stage.

This situation was making less and less sense.

Alexis tossed his socks.

Now the jacket and the tie he could understand and the shoes pinched a little, but the socks were…well, probably the most comfortable thing he was wearing at this moment besides his boxer shorts and t-shirt.

Eva removed his button down shirt and sat in his lap while she removed her bra.

Okay, that was special.

Eva only did that for Alexis.

Who was removing his pants as Eva stood back up and let her skirt slip from her hips.

Wait. Something was not right about this.

Yes, he just lost his pants.

Now, the tuxedo had not been comfortable, but he was currently much less comfortable in his boxer shorts and t-shirt than he had been a few minutes ago and where was Alexis’ bra?

And who was this strange man sticking dollar bills in the waist band of his boxer shorts?

Eva was now removing his t-shirt and Charlie was not entirely certain he wanted her to do that, but it was only fair since she and Alexis had at some point both lost their bras.

The song ended and they both kissed him.  
That was really something special.

Back in the backseat of the car, dressed in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt, Charlie was convinced that he had learned a very important lesson from this 21st birthday tradition.

Eva and Alexis were not averse to removing their clothes or his in public and with enough tequila he would let them.

Jose Cuervo and his hench-cacti were out to get him.


	9. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> – to Neurovanity, thank you for your continued support - prequel Conference Wives.

Okay, well, yikes. This one was a little difficult to write, and it's really long, so it's here on the LJ, but Neuro - tis expecially for you, your comments always make me very happy and I hope this brightens your day.

*Phew*

Neurovanity requested - how they decided that Eva would carry Isaac.

 

Title: The Offer  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie, Alexis/Eva  
Rating/Category: PG-13/R?  
Word Count: 681  
Spoilers: none  
Summary: Charlie makes a decision.  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, it’s not mine.  
Note: – to Neurovanity, thank you for your continued support - prequel Conference Wives.  
Longer bits: <http://dance-the-code.livejournal.com/>

 

 

“Charlie, we need to talk to you.” Alexis’ voice had been so quiet on the answering machine that Charlie could barely identify it as Alexis’ voice.

Charlie had caught a plane later that night.

He arrived at the girls’ townhouse after midnight, exhausted and worried. He thought that this may have been stupid, that he should have called first, but, he was scared and when he arrived all the lights were burning in the windows.

He rang the doorbell. He didn’t even have an overnight bag.

Eva opened the door in camo-green wool army slacks and an oversized Eddie Bauer sweater. She smiled, the same smile she used when he used to show up soaked with rain in need of a home-cooked meal.

“Hey Charlie…come in.”

She stepped out of the way and he toed off his sneakers in the foyer. He could see Alexis in the living room, wearing a robe and slipper socks, sitting on the couch nursing a snifter of brandy. She looked up as he came in.

“Charlie…you didn’t need to fly out here…”

“Alexis, you know I’d come any time…” He sat down in “his” chair next to the fireplace.

Eva walked in after him. “Brandy, Charlie?”

He shook his head.

“Cocoa?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Eva disappeared into the kitchen. Alexis continued to sip the brandy curled up on the couch. Eva returned with a large mug of cocoa. She handed it to him and sat down in the chair on the other side of the fireplace.

“Are you both okay?” Charlie ventured. His mind racing through possibilities of cancer, hate-crimes, rape.

“Charlie…we were turned down again.” Eva stared at the fire.

“Again? What is wrong with these people? Don’t they know you two would be the best mothers a kid could have? Are they out of their minds? You know statistically…”

“Charlie, we do know, statistically. No, it’s just the one’s we can afford, once they catch on about us being, well, us…that’s the end of it.”

“Oh, Alexis…” Charlie left the chair and knelt next to the couch, covering Alexis’ hands with his around the brandy snifter.

“There’s more Charlie.” Eva gazed deep into the fire, not looking at either of them, but tears were visible on her cheek.

“Alexis?” Charlie looked between the two of them. “Eva?”

“They found cysts in my uterus and ovaries, Charlie…even if we could find a place that would accept us, its not likely, after the amount of surgery they’re talking about that I could get pregnant, let alone carry a baby to term…”

“Alexis…” Charlie moved onto the couch. Alexis leaned against him, setting the brandy snifter onto the coffee table. He stroked her hair and she clung to his shirt. Eva wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and stood up.

“Adoption’s too expensive…we can’t find a place that would accept us with Alexis walking in, so they’re sure as hell not going to accept us with me walking in there…damn it.”

“What if you already had a donor?” Charlie doesn’t look up as he says it. Just continues to stroke Alexis’ long blond hair.

Eva shook her head. “The places we can afford, Charlie…they’d still charge us, there’s no guarantees…wait…Charlie are you offering?” She turned to face him.

Alexis sat up fast enough to knock the coffee table and splash brandy across the rug. Charlie dodged rather than get his in the chin with the top of her head.

He bunched up on the corner of the couch. “Um…yes?”

Alexis turned to Eva. “Eva, it’s Charlie, you and I both trust Charlie, we could do this the old fashioned way, your insurance covers it and we wouldn’t have to worry if anything happened to one of us…”

Eva stared at Alexis a moment and then turned her gaze at Charlie who looked a little wild around the eyes as he sorted out what Alexis had just said.

“Charlie…do you trust me?”

He looked up at Eva and smiled. “Of course…do you trust me?”

“Yes. Let’s move the rest of this discussion upstairs.”


	10. Natural Occurrences of Pi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva, Charlie and Alexis work on conceiving Isaac…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conference Wives (For Neur0 and Irena_Adler)

Title: Natural Occurrences of Pi  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie/Eva/Alexis  
Rating/Category: NC-17 (threesome)  
Word Count: 445  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Eva, Charlie and Alexis work on conceiving Isaac…  
Note: Conference Wives (For Neur0 and Irena_Adler)

 

Okay, well yes, he did trust Eva. He also trusted Alexis, but this was completely new.

He didn’t want to do anything without the overt permission of both women…this was not their usual bedroom behavior…nor was it his.

This was sort’ve like playing twister…naked.

He’d seen t-shirts that said that. He doubted that the people who wore them had actually ever tried this.

In this case, the person with the spinner did not seem to know her left from her right…and the playing surface raised three feet off the ground.

Actually, having the actual twister mat might have helped.

Alexis kept telling him where to put his hands and what to touch and it was always the wrong hand…thus resulting in Charlie falling off the bed…twice.

He was starting to think he shouldn’t trust Alexis.

“Are you really sure about this?” Charlie propped himself up on his elbows on the floor next to the bed. “I’m sure there is an easier way to go about this…”

Eva laughed. “Charlie, baby, get back up here.”

Charlie sat back down on the bed. Eva reached out and drew him closer, she kissed him and then, Alexis turned his head and kissed him, her hands making certain he was definitively interested in the process they had in mind.

It was not like anything that he had imagined or even witnessed in the dorms, on television or in accidental entrances during Don’s adolescent forays.

He tried to determine what the appropriate equations for this circumstance truly were, but attempts to bring mathematics into this situation did not really help.

But, Eva was laughing and she was beautiful when she smiled.

He had seen both of these women without clothing, granted he was rather drunk on tequila at the time. He had theoretically been in sexual situations with these women before, but it was all for show, always a smokescreen, keeping him out of trouble and annoying Penfield.

But then, all thought was moot as both women turned their attention, not to directing him what to do, but manipulating his body to do as they desired.

Each sensation was lost in a series of equations, determining depth, warmth, moisture and motion.

He whispered numbers and formulae in their ears and they responded by touch, fingers, lips.

They slept in a tangle that felt as natural in that moment as any other occurrence of Pi in nature.

Three people  
Asleep  
One bed  
Four a.m.  
One man  
Five pillows  
Nine years they had known each other  
Two women  
Six hands clasped  
Five feet visible at the end of the bed  
Three blankets  
Five shirts discarded to the left of the bed

3.1415926535…


	11. Sometimes calculators can’t help you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie is not available

Title: Sometimes calculators can’t help you  
Characters: Don, Megan  
Rating: G  
Series: [Master List](http://dance-the-code.livejournal.com/2029.html)Conference Wives - Prequel  
Summary: Charlie is not available  
Word Count: 300  
Prompt: #302 Add  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it is not mine.

Don sat at his desk, calculator in hand, cursing a blue streak.

He stared at the piece of paper again and tried addition rather than subtraction.

He looked at the answer

He looked at Charlie’s last notes

He glared at the phone again and mentally demanded that his brother turn his phone on.

Megan looked at Don a moment before carefully approaching.

“Don? Is everything okay?”

Don growled. “No, not okay, Charlie’s left suddenly, took his files and the work he was doing for me with him and the only note he left is not helping.”

Megan carefully took the piece of paper. “How is it not working, Don?”

“I can’t figure out what function is supposed to be used on the calculator to get the answer, I tried multiplication, subtraction, addition…nothing that makes any sense.”

Megan took a deep breath. “Did Charlie leave this note for you?”

“No, he left it with the secretary, but she was out, one of the grad students copied it down for me.”

“Don, was the grad student an international student?”

“Megan, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Yes or no?”

“Yes, he had an accent, now what does that have to do with anything?”

“Don, it’s an emergency contact number, you’re using the wrong instrument to make it give you an answer.”

Don growled and grabbed the phone. He dialed the number and listened.

“You’ve reached the Winters-Thomas residence, we’re unable to come to the phone right now, but leave a message at the beep.”

Don declined to leave a message and tried his brother’s cell phone again and grumbled to himself. “What could Charlie possibly be doing that was important enough to vanish in the middle of a case, without calling first or at least leaving the files, little brothers.”


	12. Meaning of Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie at the airport…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives. Lady Eternal teases me that I am terrible at naming things and that 3.14159 was by knee jerk bad naming response to naming Isaac so well...well, she's bloody wrong. Here's you fic.

Title: Meaning of Names  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG  
Word Count: 154  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie at the airport…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives. Lady Eternal teases me that I am terrible at naming things and that 3.14159 was by knee jerk bad naming response to naming Isaac so well...well, she's bloody wrong. Here's you fic.

Charlie believed that everyone in the airport thought he was loosing his mind. He had no luggage, he had dropped every piece of identification and all the papers he had grabbed from his desk and some highly important research for Don on the floor…twice at the ticket counter, however, after managing to finally blurt out.

“I need a ticket, I need to get there my son is about to be born…”

Everyone apparently forgave him and the people behind him even helped collect his papers.

He was through security when he saw them.

3 bears on the shelf.

He stopped.

1 dark brown one in the middle, seemed softer than the others.

4 paws stuck out at awkward but comforting angles.

1 person in the store.

5 gates before he reached his.

9 minutes.

He made it with two minutes to spare, the bear and all the papers tucked carefully in a plastic bag.


	13. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie at the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives, the story behind the picture of Charlie holding baby Isaac

Title: Introductions  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG- 13/R  
Word Count: 429  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie at the hospital  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives, the story behind the picture of Charlie holding baby Isaac

Charlie arrived at the hospital in almost a more discombobulated state than he had arrived at the airport. His phone was ringing in his pocket and he knew it was Don, but if he answered he would tell him where he was, what he was doing, what was going on and Don would tell Alan…hell, Don would tell the FBI and then he would be in trouble.

Because then there would likely be a hospital room full of feds and family, neither of which Eva and Alexis would appreciate. They had discussed this.

He dropped the bag, four times, pulled the battery out of his phone, tossed it in the bottom of the bag and approached the desk.

“Hi…my…I…there’s a…” Charlie stopped. How exactly did you explain this situation?  
The reception nurse looked at Charles. Looked at the rumpled sport coat, the bear peeking out of the bag, the peculiar expression and smiled.

“Your name?”

“Dr. Charles Eppes?”

“Are you sure?”

“Um, yes. I am, I am Dr. Eppes, applied mathematics.”

She looked at a chart. “Eppes, Room 213, Congratulations Dr. Eppes.”

Charlie looked at her, stunned. He was late.

They had discussed this too, the likelihood that Alexis could have been present at the birth was slim to none, he hoped Eva would forgive him if it was just her and the doctors.

Charlie hurried to the room. Both girls looked up as he entered.

“Hey, Charlie…”

Charlie smiled. “Eva…I’m sorry…”

“No, no, Charlie, it all worked out, Alexis just said she was your sister and they let her in since Isaac decided now was time and he’d rather see you when you got here than wait another minute.”

Alexis motioned Charlie further into the room. “Come on, Charlie, come here and hold him.”

Charlie sat in the chair by the bed and the two women positioned his arms until he was holding Isaac just right.

Eva smiled. “Dr. Charles Eppes, meet Isaac Alan Eppes.”

Charlie started. “I knew about the Isaac part…but…”

“We thought that might smooth some of the hard feelings about the wait…”

Charlie nodded. “I hope so.” He looked back down at Isaac who placed a tiny hand on his thumb.

“Precious… Alexis, take pictures.”

Charlie smiled and looked at his son. Isaac looked up at his father. Alexis stopped en route to grabbing the camera and pulled the bear from the bag.

“Charlie? What’s this?”

“3.14159”

Eva laughed. “Pi?”

“Well, yes and also a series of seemingly random data points in the airport between the bear and the flight…

Alexis snapped the picture.


	14. Lip Stick Marks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> …guaranteed to leave no question as to who he belonged to…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –neurovanity (again)– as promised. Continues Conference Wives series - pre-quel/background I guess.

Title: Lip Stick Marks  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG  
Word Count: 161  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: …guaranteed to leave no question as to who he belonged to…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –neurovanity (again)– as promised. Continues Conference Wives series - pre-quel/background I guess.  
Longer bits: <http://dance-the-code.livejournal.com/>

There are things you notice when you haven’t seen someone in months. Hair cuts, new clothes, the occasional tattoo. Conferences were great for reconnecting.

He was carded at the bar. Again.

He discussed his latest article. Again.

He was about to extricate himself from another conversation when two very feminine hands slid up the back of his jacket, over his shoulders and down his chest. Two other feminine hands, matching the first slipped around his waist. Two sets of female lips planted kisses on his cheeks. He could feel the lipstick transfer. He saw the flash and grinned.

“Evening, ladies.”

It wasn’t his fantasy, it wasn’t theirs either, but he knew that they wore those dresses with the slits up to the thigh, the heels and too much lipstick, the kind guaranteed to rub off and leave no question as to who he belonged to, because it was every other math geek’s fantasy.

And tonight, they would think he lived it.


	15. Lady Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie, the girls, body shots, strip poker and Penfield in the room next door…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –to neurovanity, who OMG pimped my series, this is her special thank you ficlet, probably not what she was expecting…but I hope she enjoys it anyway - thanks for reading– continues Conference Wives.

Title: Lady Luck  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie  
Rating/Category: PG-13, R?  
Word Count: 198  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie, the girls, body shots, strip poker and Penfield in the room next door…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –to neurovanity, who OMG pimped my series, this is her special thank you ficlet, probably not what she was expecting…but I hope she enjoys it anyway - thanks for reading– continues Conference Wives.  
Longer bits: <http://dance-the-code.livejournal.com/>

 

Charlie knew there had to be a mathematical explanation for why, despite the fact that he could always be counted on to win at poker, he could never, ever, beat Eva.

He believed it had something to do with the fact that for every hand he lost Eva took a body shot off of Alexis and he lost an article of clothing.

Honestly, he was probably loosing because he had nothing to loose. Alexis was a beautiful woman.

An exceptionally beautiful woman when wearing only a black lace bra and repeatedly being drizzled with salt and lime.

Eva looked up from her hand. “Do you think Alexis’ moaning is enough or should we bang on the walls? I think Penfield has the room next to ours.”

Charlie grinned and lost another hand, he removed his shirt and Alexis giggled. “Whatever you think.”

Eva removed a shoe, tossed it at the wall and screamed Charlie’s name in a voice filled with rapture.

A man’s voice next door cursed the day Charlie was born.

Charlie covered his mouth in order not to laugh.

Alexis moaned as Eva took another shot.

Yeah, he lost because he had nothing to loose.


	16. Unacceptable Math

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> …if he wasn’t getting laid tonight, neither was the boy genius…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –to neurovanity, thanks for reading– continues Conference Wives.

Title: Unacceptable Math  
Pairing/Characters: Marshall Penfield  
Rating/Category: PG  
Word Count: 295  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: …if he wasn’t getting laid tonight, neither was the boy genius…  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –to neurovanity, thanks for reading– continues Conference Wives.

Dr. Eppes had two wives. He was sure of it and everyone knew.

Except, logically, the two women.

Conference spouses were common, it came out of marrying outside the field, finding someone who could touch your body, but not your mind. For some, the conference spouse was a grad student looking to sleep his or her way into a collaboration, he’d had a few of those.

But, this…this was unacceptable. He had seen one greet Dr. Eppes and then the other shortly after, always seeming to miss each other.

Well, not tonight. This sort of math was unacceptable. It was unfair. And it was the perfect way to take Dr. Eppes down several pegs. Hell, if there was a big enough scene, it could result in Dr. Eppes being asked not to return to the conference next year, turn the smug bastard into an academic hot potato.

He really hoped there would be a scene. This was the algebra mixer, everyone was here.

And there was Dr. Eppes. He set down his drink on a table and waited. As soon as he saw them he was going to draw their attention to Dr. Eppes. Maybe they would slap him. He’d pay to see that.

Ah, Dr. Eppes was just carded at the bar. Classic.

Ah, Dr. Eppes, stuck talking to that stuffed shirt from U of M…poor boy.

Ah, there they are. Wait. They are even walking in together.

He opened his mouth to call Dr. Eppes’s name and alert the unfortunate ladies. If he wasn’t getting laid tonight, neither was the boy genius.

And then, it all went to hell. They both kissed him. At the same time. Marshall Penfield learned right that second that Dr. Charles Eppes was God.

He ordered another drink.


End file.
